Some dickhead sets the microwave to play Old Suzanna instead of the normal beep beep beep when its done cooking. It plays in midi style sound. The sound stabbs my brain. If I find out who is doing it I will choke the shit out of them.
Look Anonymous Girl in the cubicle in the next row over… nobody gives a shit about your non-existent sex life! Have you looked at yourself recently?? It doesn’t matter how many damn calories were in that carrot you had for lunch today. Diets don’t get rid of ugly! Now, I know your a little naive and quite possibly the sole reason blondes have that “stupid” stereotype, but just because your roomate’s male friend visited her last night does not mean you had an exciting night of almost hooking up Read the rest of this entry »
I was walking down the hall to my office today and had my briefcase in one hand and a full cup of coffee in the other. All of a sudden I got this terrible itch on my nose and without thinking I reached up to scratch it with my hand that is holding the coffee. When my hand reached the itch, hot coffee spilled over my face and hands. I yelped like a little girl in the middle of the hallway. It hurt so bad that I wanted cry.
I backed into one of my coworkers cars today in the parking lot and made a huge dent in the side. I didn’t leave a note or anything. I can’t stand that lady anyway. I hope her car is a lease and she has to get it fixed.
Email just sent to everyone at work: “Can anyone reefer me a good mechanician to check a used car for sale?”
My soul just died.
I’m a pharmacy tech. A customer asked me what “No SI for a week” meant on his prescription. I blanked out for a second and had to ask a co-worker next to me what it meant. Right in front of the customer my co-worker exclaimed “IT MEANS NO SEXUAL INTERCOUSE–THAT’S FOR WHEN YOU HAVE THE CLAPS”. The customer hung his head, paid, and left.
So I was at work late last night and had to go to the restroom. While on my way to the restroom I heard a knocking sound so I vered off course to another aisle of cubes and happened to see my co-worker Jake bangin the janitor in a cube and DUDE !! It was DUDE!!!
I always have a cup of water at my desk with me. Today I grabbed the cup and started to drink when I noticed their was a huge black hair (my hair is light brown) in my cup. Before I could stop drinking the hair went in my mouth.
I immediately closed my throat and leaned my head forward to let the water come back out of my mouth and into the cup.
Along with it came that huge hair. I have no idea where it came from. It made me want to puke everywhere.
A hot new girl just started at work. She looks like she’d like anal. Maybe I’ll ask her. Then again…maybe I won’t
The manager of our 5 person team manages by threats and insults. I know, nothing new here. This person does not have any experience in what we do so 99% of its directives make no sense. Its favorite insult is, "you’re never going to get into management until you [fill in the blank]." My very clever co-worker came up with the perfect response to that statement. Whenever this self proclaimed "management professional" tells one of us that we will never be management m Read the rest of this entry »