Up in Flames

3007/2009

When I worked at restaurant, I always thought about the best way to quit. Then one day it came to me.

We weren’t allowed to take smoke breaks at this restaurant, so my plan was to first douse the loading dock in kerosene. Next, at about 8:30 on a busy Friday I would take out a cigarette and show it to my manager as I walked past the office on the way to the loading dock.

She would get pissed and follow me out. When she came out there, I would be standing there smoking and she would bitch at me and tell me I was getting written up for taking a smoke break.

Then, I would look her in the eye, and flick the lit cigarette onto the kerosene-soaked ground and walk away in slow-mo like Terminator while the building egulfed in flames.

posted under Amazing Firings
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