Embarassing Gas


Have you ever woken yourself up with a fart?

Have you ever done it in a meeting?

I work as an analyst at an investment bank. After pulling an all-nighter, I was at our 8am meeting this morning. The rest is as follows…

About 15 minutes into the meeting, despite doing everything I could to keep my eyelids from closing, I soon fell soundly asleep. Falling asleep in a meeting, while not the best career move, is also quasi-understood by the senior bankers. However, my “performance” this morning will likely be talked about for months.

I woke with a start. A loud noise suddenly caused me to jerk my head up. As I looked around and realized I was in a meeting, I got VERY embarassed. As I reddened, I noticed that everyone was staring at me. Even moreso than someone that just was sleeping in a meeting. Mouths stood agape as people stared.

Not knowing what to say and not fully realizing what had happened, I said, “I’m sorry, was working late last night.” The meeting continued with the senior partner exusing his “team”. As he did this, I shifted positions and noticed the WORST smell quickly spreading from what appeared to be me. As I sat there sweating, I finally realized what had happened.

It must have been a combination of the red bull, diet coke and indian food from the night before.

Two minutes later, we had to switch conference rooms.

Now, everyone in my group is talking about it. Probably everyone in the firm and the clients firm too. I have no doubt this will soon be all over the street.

I’m considering early retirement.

posted under Bathroom Humor
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