Whenever I deliver pizza and I do not receive a tip, I run my key down the side of the customer’s car and/or step on their flowers.

I work at a subway resteraunt. A co-worker had a bag of bottle rockets in his car so we decided that I would fire off about a dozen in the backroom while screaming and yelling. The workers at the counter kept a straight face and insisted they didnt hear the intense popping and screaming. We reviewed the customers reactions over and over again on the surveilance camera.

I work at a pizza chain and whenever I get pissed off I blow snot rockets on the pizza before I deliver them.

Once when I worked in this ice cream shop a lady came in, got two sundaes to go. She did not inform me of the to go part until i made them, so I put lids on the containers and it smooshed the Whipped cream down, but the sundae was still fine. It all ends up in the same place, no?

She demanded I make new ones that were not “crushed and ruined”. I said, that’s how we make them here, nice and big, and you didn’t tell me about the lid till they were made.

She said it was the Read the rest of this entry »

ok this one is short but i think is funny. so im working the french restuarant again and this one old lady always comes in and gets completely wasted with her friends. so one day mrs M comes in around 11 am and starts drinking wine then finally after like 5 bottles later around 4pm she finally leaves and while on her way out the door she passes out in the hallway. so we get her some water and she says she is ok so we let her go i dont know why but we do. then she gets in her car and drives righ Read the rest of this entry »

I work at a video rental store and when the shop closes at night we have to re-stock the shelves with the movies people have returned that day. If I’m in the mood I’ll occasionally swap a porn movie into a family movie and then laugh to myself as I think about some stupid mid-western family sitting down to watch ‘Shrek II’ but the only donkey they see is some guy’s huge donkey dick pummeling some ass.

Several years ago, I purposefully posted a fake exam on the web that looked like the real one, smelled like the real one, and was hellish like a real one. Then, one day, as expected I see a lardass moron reading the “exam” in class. I start asking how the hell he got it. He had no fucking clue! No fucking clue … I got really pissed. Since this was like the day before the final, I told the class that if you guys steal the exams, I will have to make the final comprehensive. I am glad that Read the rest of this entry »

one of the best things about working at a pizza restaurant is that u can put whatever u want on a pizza and cook it and it still tastes good. so one night these 2 drunk guys come in and they are like we need some food but we dont have much money. so im like awesome this is gonna be fun. i tell them i have the perfect pizza for them. so i run back to the kitchen and start putting all kinds of shit on it. i start with cheese that fell on the floor and every other toppings that were left over. ne Read the rest of this entry »

I’m a trainer at a local gym and all of my ‘clients’ are totally wussy men. I intentionally make them lift more weight than they can handle in front of women just so they will be embarrassed.

I also require my fat women clients to wear full sweat suits. No shorts or t-shirts.

I work for a company that hosts and supports websites for funeral homes. Yes, this is the 2nd most depressing job on the planet, thanks for asking. This moron lady emails me that a guestbook entry that she made on 6/16 is missing, where is it? Well, our database shows the guestbook was created 6/17. I call her back. I ask her to go to her PC and take a look at the guestbook page with me. “Hang on, I’m shaving my legs, just a sec.” She says. (woo) I spend 2 days fooling around with the damned web Read the rest of this entry »