I’m a pharmacy tech. A customer asked me what “No SI for a week” meant on his prescription. I blanked out for a second and had to ask a co-worker next to me what it meant. Right in front of the customer my co-worker exclaimed “IT MEANS NO SEXUAL INTERCOUSE–THAT’S FOR WHEN YOU HAVE THE CLAPS”. The customer hung his head, paid, and left.

I am a salesman and yesterday I went to a client’s home to have him sign some papers. His wife let us in and said he would be with us in just a few minutes. We sat at the lunch bar and waited. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a man standing on the back deck looking away from the house. There was a nice breeze so the windows were open. All of a sudden I hear the most disgusting, bubbly, oozy fart. I started laughing as the man on the deck started to come inside. Knowing it was clearly Read the rest of this entry »

I work in a IT call center a gentleman called in today about password issues. When people have computers crap out they get a new one and some of there password stay the same and some of the local ones will change so they hand out a sheet with the passwords that have changed and all the others that arent local and stay the same they mark with N/A so on the sheet he sees

Mobius- N/A
TcTS- abcdefg

so any way he calls because his default mobius passowrd on the sheet is not Read the rest of this entry »

i have to take down people’s first and last names over the phone, sometimes it obvious, sometimes they have to spell it. nothing pleases me more than some old codger with a military background who feels the need to spell his name out in code. G as in gangrenous, O as in orifice, pause, A as in alimony, W as in wangdoodle, A as in apathetic, Y as in; you’re terrible.

An inordinate number of absolute fucking dickheads are calling me this week. I had a conversation with a lady today that went like this:

Me: “Hello”

Bitch: “I’d like to make a reservation for dinner for four people on wednesday night next wednesday but I have a question I have a gift certificate for your restaurant i received last year and i just looked when i got it out of the drawer and it says it expired in may and are you to tell me (her getting angry….) that this Read the rest of this entry »

At 1:00 I was about to go out to lunch, already an hour late. Right as I was grabbing my keys, my stupid boss comes by and asks me to do her a favor. She says, ‘Can you wait here by the phone until 2 in case this client calls?’

Now its 1:20. I have 40 minutes to go. Im hungry. Im cranky. And when this client calls im gonna tell him exactly how I feel!

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughte Read the rest of this entry »

I worked for a vfw bartending, one day a member of the club, and elderly woman, 74 years old, was talking with another woman while they were drinking some vodka and sprite, and remind you this is at noon, the member suddenly farts extrememly loud and acts like nothing happened, while her friend says “those used to be the ones that made me wet”

I haven’t been able to think about farts in a funny way since.

I work at a cellphone place in a mall. you know one of those little koisk things right in the middle. we take returns on our phones as long as everything comes back with the phone and its within the 14 day return period. one day our numbers weren’;t that high so some kid who got a phone comes up on the 14th day saying he wants to return it cuz he doesn’t like the service. if he doesn’t cancel his ervice and return the phone on the 14th day then he’s stuck in contract for 2 years. he had everythi Read the rest of this entry »

Event summary for Anonymous Company
6/22/06
Contact: *******
Servers: Nicholas and Brianna

A man by the name of Tyler arrived around 4:20. I went downstairs to meet him, he was already very upset. Insisted that the room was not suitable, everything was wrong about it- table set up, screen was too small, room was too bright, projector would not work from position on the table. Wanted us to re-set the room with four 5ft crescent rounds of five people each, wanted a 6 f Read the rest of this entry »