I got free fruit tarts, cakes, and pies today for some deal they had in the building lobby. Whatever it was, I’m sure it wasn’t for me to help myself, but it made my day.

Today I seriously contemplated the repercussions of putting my desk,phone, and chair in the elevator and riding it up and down. Everytime the door opened i would ask the people if they have an appointment.

Everyonce in awhile i get bored and will go to a randow coworkers cubicle and pull out my trusty labeler and go to work. Coffee Cups, pieces of paper, pens, monitors, keyboards, keys on the keyboards…. oh yes i label it all. They do however retaliate in the same fashion… My spacebar has been labeled for almost a year now.

Things I accomplished at work yesterday:

- Falling asleep at my desk
- Reading 37 pages of “Angels and Demons”
- Creating a Myspace account
- Sitting absolutely motionless for 17 minutes
- Going to the bathroom 8 times

I just wrote ‘My Dixie Wrecked’ on a post it note and handed it to an intern. Then I had him go around to all the senior engineers and read it out loud. They all stared at him like he was going to molest a bear.

For those of you who are slow My Dixie Wrecked = My dick’s erect.

I work at a helpdesk and today it has been a slow afternoon (which really means I’m not signed into the system to accept calls). I was in the middle of cranking out a lifetime-high score on an online game and really into it with my face about 6 inches from the screen when I felt the icy hand of death on my shoulder. I looked up and my manager’s manger said to me “you look like you need something to do, come help me with my email”.
I think he was bluffing but I still helped him. Point i Read the rest of this entry »

This morning i setup an elaborate trip wire system with the use of twine, pushpins, the box busniess cards come in, and styrofoam peanuts…. I rigged it up with the twine using the pushpins at the 90° angles and when the door swung open it trips the wire which weaves everywhich way with the end result pulling the flap on the box free the oppressed styrofoam from capivity only to unleash their wrath on the head of a unsuspecting victim. Ok so it probably wasn’t that exciting but hey.. at leas Read the rest of this entry »

So I’m walking down the hall the other day peering into everyone’s office as I walk by and right as I get ready to turn the corner I look into my co-worker’s office and across his entire wall 12 feet across and 9 feet high, he has built a sculpture made entirely of soup cans. There have to be at least 150 cans of soup in his office.

The funny thing to me is thinking about two things. One him at the cash register at a grocery store buying all this soup and second him transferring the Read the rest of this entry »

I just woke up with drool on my desk. I have no idea how long I was out.

I found a way to make my background a cartoon girl flipping a pancake in a frying pan. It is actually animated and the pancake flips up and down over and over. I’ve been staring at it for two hours.