For the last two hours my co-worker and I have played a game called “Rubberband Shoot” (I know elaborate name, right?). Basically, our company has these intense, huge rubberbands to bind large documents. We take a couple of them, stand behind our desk, aim the rubberband at the wall ahead of us, and try to ricochet the rubberband off the wall and land it on the desk. Two hours. My hand is all red from the backlash of the rubberband, and we never landed it on the desk.

When I was 15 my first job was a stock room boy at Linen’n'Things. One day I was really bored and we had gotten a shipment of pillows that I needed to stock into the storage room. So as am doing this I decided to have a little fun and build the ultimate fort out of pillows I spent 5 hours out of a 6 hour shift building this thing. I had gotten so excited about it I didn’t even take a lunch. To make it even cooler I went to the vending machine and bought $10.75 worth of twinkees and snacks to sto Read the rest of this entry »

I got free fruit tarts, cakes, and pies today for some deal they had in the building lobby. Whatever it was, I’m sure it wasn’t for me to help myself, but it made my day.

Today I seriously contemplated the repercussions of putting my desk,phone, and chair in the elevator and riding it up and down. Everytime the door opened i would ask the people if they have an appointment.

Everyonce in awhile i get bored and will go to a randow coworkers cubicle and pull out my trusty labeler and go to work. Coffee Cups, pieces of paper, pens, monitors, keyboards, keys on the keyboards…. oh yes i label it all. They do however retaliate in the same fashion… My spacebar has been labeled for almost a year now.

Things I accomplished at work yesterday:

- Falling asleep at my desk
- Reading 37 pages of “Angels and Demons”
- Creating a Myspace account
- Sitting absolutely motionless for 17 minutes
- Going to the bathroom 8 times

I just wrote ‘My Dixie Wrecked’ on a post it note and handed it to an intern. Then I had him go around to all the senior engineers and read it out loud. They all stared at him like he was going to molest a bear.

For those of you who are slow My Dixie Wrecked = My dick’s erect.

I work at a helpdesk and today it has been a slow afternoon (which really means I’m not signed into the system to accept calls). I was in the middle of cranking out a lifetime-high score on an online game and really into it with my face about 6 inches from the screen when I felt the icy hand of death on my shoulder. I looked up and my manager’s manger said to me “you look like you need something to do, come help me with my email”.
I think he was bluffing but I still helped him. Point i Read the rest of this entry »

This morning i setup an elaborate trip wire system with the use of twine, pushpins, the box busniess cards come in, and styrofoam peanuts…. I rigged it up with the twine using the pushpins at the 90° angles and when the door swung open it trips the wire which weaves everywhich way with the end result pulling the flap on the box free the oppressed styrofoam from capivity only to unleash their wrath on the head of a unsuspecting victim. Ok so it probably wasn’t that exciting but hey.. at leas Read the rest of this entry »

So I’m walking down the hall the other day peering into everyone’s office as I walk by and right as I get ready to turn the corner I look into my co-worker’s office and across his entire wall 12 feet across and 9 feet high, he has built a sculpture made entirely of soup cans. There have to be at least 150 cans of soup in his office.

The funny thing to me is thinking about two things. One him at the cash register at a grocery store buying all this soup and second him transferring the Read the rest of this entry »