A Stream of Thought during a Corporate Training Course

–it is monochromatic outside–
white gray*green gray*black gray*blue gray*straw gray*gray gray*

–flourescent lights–
trainer*powerpoint*questions/answers*markers*flipcharts*staring*waiting to learn something*he said ‘loosey goosey’*sleepy eyes everywhere*not moving for 8 hours other than to get up to get food*crossed legs*empty coffee cups*scrunched napkins*why aren’t you wearing your name badge*multi-color Read the rest of this entry »

I can’t stand my coworkers so whenever I finish making copies I unplug the machine. It takes like 5 minutes to start up because it’s a piece of crap. Everyone get’s so mad, but they don’t know who is doing it.

Someone sent out an email today asking for “the person responsible for unplugging the copy machine to stop immediately!”

They used an exclamation point. What a tool.

Put a double layer of scotch tape on the mouth piece of your Boss’s phone and watch the idiot try to talk to someone! Guaranteed fun!

I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches everyday at work. I’ve eaten them for the past 44 days.

Here’s a fun game. Everytime you take a leak, stick a booger on the wall and see how many you get before someone cleans it. I’ve got quite a booger wall going, bloody ones too, and it’s been going for like two weeks.

I am watching the Cubs game, eating sunflower seeds and spitting the shells on the floor in my cube.

I just spent about 20 minutes finding a perfectly sized version of our company logo online. I slid it over to make new letterhead- a nice picture of a clean toilet, embelished with our company logo. We are supposed to submit our ideas for new letterhead this afternoon. I think I’ll submit mine anonymously…

…Today at work I won $25 on a bet. We play a game (inspired by a very lazy salesman) where we place bets on when this certain salesman is going to go on ’sales calls’ (actually to the bar to drink Manhattans or home for an afternoon (or morning) siesta).

The game is played with a timesheet that has times in fifteen minute increments starting at 9:30 AM (yes, he has been known to hit the bars this early). If you guess correctly, you win the jackpot.

I highly recommen Read the rest of this entry »

I worked at this telemarketing job in college where you call alumni and ask for donations. Every college has them I’m sure.

Me and two friends worked there, and we would get so bored we would look for stuff to do. And the supervisor was such a pushover, we could do anything.

-My record was three straight days without making a single call, just lying and saying no one was home.

-My friend would call people’s houses, and when they weren’t home, just sit there and l Read the rest of this entry »

Today at work i read the same story on TODAYATWORK.com 3 times due to extreme bordem!