I JUST QUIT MY JOB!

I FEEL SO… SO… SO ALIVE!

So sometimes at work i get hungry like most people do. I usually don’t carry cash on me so the vending machine is out of the question. Fortunately people have candy readily available to everyone in the office. I take everyone up on this and go shopping as if i were in BJ’s and these are the free sample stands. Well i was especially feeling the Hershey’s white chocolate swirls that the secretary has in front of her desk, so i take a hand-full. These are really good today, so i go back for mo Read the rest of this entry »

Today is my last day of work, but I still have an 8-pack of string cheese in the ‘fridge… I’m going for it.

been working here for
2 months now and it feels like my first day in High School.Don’t know many people sit alone at lunch getting lost in a huge building.I’ll give you guys a run down This place is huge I beleive there is close to 8000 people working here. There is 3 office buildings all have atleast 16 floors connected togther and there is a gym, pretty big cafeteria, dry cleaning,A small corner store, small museum and other small neccesoties to help inside the building. I mean this plac Read the rest of this entry »

Today was my worst day of work. Ever.

Daily Haiku for the work place:

White out, paper clips,
pens, rubber bands, are all the
things I steal from work

I have got to stop farting in my cubicle! I swear all day nobody even walks by my cube but the second I let one slip somebody walk right into a wall of stink I’m sure by now either people think I have horrible permanate B.O. or I flatulate all day in my cube. There just nowhere to propely dispose of these farts the bathroom is more crowded then my cube. I need to learn how to crop dust.

Why does everyone on my team at work think that im gay?!

We are supposed to be at work by 9:30AM, at which time we have a brief meeting to discuss everyone’s agenda for the day. Today, the bosses were going out of town on a business trip, so everyone showed up late. Unfortunately, the boss’s flight had been canceled, and he was here waiting for all of us at the regular time. oops.

I used to work at a lawn service company and everyone was on drugs. Everyone used to cut grass all fucked up and the lines would be all criss-crossed and mangled up.

Some of the guys even broke the rear view mirror off the truck and started snorting coke off of it. I was only 14 at the time and I never told anyone about it.