So sometimes at work i get hungry like most people do. I usually don’t carry cash on me so the vending machine is out of the question. Fortunately people have candy readily available to everyone in the office. I take everyone up on this and go shopping as if i were in BJ’s and these are the free sample stands. Well i was especially feeling the Hershey’s white chocolate swirls that the secretary has in front of her desk, so i take a hand-full. These are really good today, so i go back for mo Read the rest of this entry »

Today is my last day of work, but I still have an 8-pack of string cheese in the ‘fridge… I’m going for it.

been working here for
2 months now and it feels like my first day in High School.Don’t know many people sit alone at lunch getting lost in a huge building.I’ll give you guys a run down This place is huge I beleive there is close to 8000 people working here. There is 3 office buildings all have atleast 16 floors connected togther and there is a gym, pretty big cafeteria, dry cleaning,A small corner store, small museum and other small neccesoties to help inside the building. I mean this plac Read the rest of this entry »

Today was my worst day of work. Ever.

Daily Haiku for the work place:

White out, paper clips,
pens, rubber bands, are all the
things I steal from work

I have got to stop farting in my cubicle! I swear all day nobody even walks by my cube but the second I let one slip somebody walk right into a wall of stink I’m sure by now either people think I have horrible permanate B.O. or I flatulate all day in my cube. There just nowhere to propely dispose of these farts the bathroom is more crowded then my cube. I need to learn how to crop dust.

Why does everyone on my team at work think that im gay?!

We are supposed to be at work by 9:30AM, at which time we have a brief meeting to discuss everyone’s agenda for the day. Today, the bosses were going out of town on a business trip, so everyone showed up late. Unfortunately, the boss’s flight had been canceled, and he was here waiting for all of us at the regular time. oops.

I used to work at a lawn service company and everyone was on drugs. Everyone used to cut grass all fucked up and the lines would be all criss-crossed and mangled up.

Some of the guys even broke the rear view mirror off the truck and started snorting coke off of it. I was only 14 at the time and I never told anyone about it.

Never eat at a buffet. I used to work at a restaurant with a buffet and some of the nastiest stuff I’ve ever seen in my life occurred there. People were constantly coughing and sneezing all over the food. Trust me, that ’sneeze guard’ thing is no match for the Ebola virus carrying customers that always seemed to be hanging around our dining facility. Also little kids were constantly picking up things with their hands.

You think the food was fresh when I brought it out of the kitch Read the rest of this entry »