Never eat at a buffet. I used to work at a restaurant with a buffet and some of the nastiest stuff I’ve ever seen in my life occurred there. People were constantly coughing and sneezing all over the food. Trust me, that ’sneeze guard’ thing is no match for the Ebola virus carrying customers that always seemed to be hanging around our dining facility. Also little kids were constantly picking up things with their hands.

You think the food was fresh when I brought it out of the kitch Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve become so annoyed with everyone/everything at work lately that I put my phone on DND (Do Not Distrub) mode. Basically that means everytime someone calls me (co-worker, customer, boss, etc) it tells them that I am in a meeting.

I take a multi-vitamin everyday at my desk before I start working. Today I was chewing gum and decided to try to take my vitamin at the same time. I ended up swallowing my gum and almost choked to death.

I work in a restaurant and every night after we close we are responsible for vacuuming the dining room and mopping the kitchen. Whenever we mop the kitchen we’re suppose to put up a ‘Wet Floor’ sign because the floor gets as slippery as ice.

The other day I was mopping the floor and forgot to put the sign out. The bus boy was returning from the dining room with a bus tub full of dishes and half-eaten food. He wasn’t paying much attention and when he started to walk on the kitchen Read the rest of this entry »

I work in the pharmacy at Walgreens. Its usually pretty slow here. Sometimes I bring in my PSP and watch porn or pick up hookers in GTA. The only way to see us is through the glass window located in the front, which is where people pick up and drop off their goods.

About 10-15 minutes ago, I baked the entire place out with the other employee while watching Kung Fu Hustle. You ever seen that movie stoned?? Smoke weed all day!

My boss introduced the new TPS reporting system.. cover sheets are important, memos are on the way..

he is familiar with office space and didn’t intentionally create a TPS system but the irony is making me seriously consider looking for a new place of employment

Today at work I was riding the elevator when the cable broke and i fell 12 stories to my death. I soon woke up at my desk noticing it was a dream and realized no one is that lucky…

When I worked ina bike shop the upstairs was a large oval with bikes in the middle and lining the outside, so you could ride around like a track.
I crashed repeatedly on 2 and 3000 dollar bikes due to the slippery floor. Trying to pull a wheelie on a road bike is not a good idea.

This system that we use at work is the biggest piece of crap ever. It literally freezes everytime you maximize the screen to use it again. Because of this, my boss wants us to keep track, in an Excel spreadsheet, of everytime this thing freezes up on us. We need a date, time, and how long it was frozen, along with what we were doing when it froze.

I haven’t gotten shit done in 3 weeks because I’ve been too busy keeping track of this crap. In fact, no one on my team has! My boss Read the rest of this entry »

So I’m sitting in my office entirely to bored when it occurs to me that i should go use the new coffee machine. One problem no cup. So I look every where for one and guess what i find a perfectly fine cup one problem…. its full of silverware. It seems like a good idea as i pour hot coffee from the machine into it then it hits me… how many people have put there hand in this very cup… heres to the flu and a week off work.