So I’m sitting in my office entirely to bored when it occurs to me that i should go use the new coffee machine. One problem no cup. So I look every where for one and guess what i find a perfectly fine cup one problem…. its full of silverware. It seems like a good idea as i pour hot coffee from the machine into it then it hits me… how many people have put there hand in this very cup… heres to the flu and a week off work.
I’ve worn the same pair of jeans to work for the past 13 days. That’s how I roll.
NOTE TO SELF…. dont leave potent pot with your work clothes it will stink!!!!!!!!
I was just in the most boring meeting ever. Some lady just kept babbling on and on about something that I did not care about and something that did not even concern me. All of the people that were sitting/standing by the door quietly snuck out without causing much of a scene. I was in the middle of the room though so it would have looked horribly rude for me just to stand up and walk out.
And then it struck me; a glorious idea. I set my cell phone for 2 minutes and when it went of Read the rest of this entry »
I sneak one thing out of my office each day. It might be a book, or a poster, or some other desk toy that I own. When I get down to 10 items left I’m going to put in my 2 weeks notice. On my last day I’ll end up taking the last item from my office.
On my last day of work this past Friday I was so frustrated with my company that I unplugged the refrigerator before I left. My friend who I used to work with wrote me an email today and said that the office smells like “cabbage and baby diapers.” Mission accomplished.
When I fill out my timesheet each day I don’t fill out the actual number of hours I worked. Instead I fill out how many hours it felt like I worked that day. Employee of the month here I come.
My project has maintains several systems that are password protected, and our users tend to forget their password (as we all do).
One of my jobs is to reset the passwords to a default, which up until friday was CHANGEME. Since I am leaving this company in a couple weeks, I decided to change the default to IDIOT.
Now when people call and say “I forget my password” I tell them “Ok- your temporary password is IDIOT” So far no complaints, only laughs.
Whenever I get mad at my boss, I chew 5 or 6 pieces of gum at once while I’m also eating saltine crackers. It makes a gross, sticky, pasty mess and I stick it under his car door handles so he has to put his fingers in it whenever he gets into his car.
A Haiku for the work place:
My boss smells real bad
She should shower before work
Wash under her pits