People in glass houses should not throw stones. People with white business shirts should not wipe front to back.

From time to time people bring in cakes or cookies and leave them in the lunch room for others to enjoy. I normally don’t partake. So, one day a coworker was walking by with a piece of cake and I casually said “Oh, that looks good, if there’s any left at the end of the day I’m going to have to steal a piece.”

Time went by and I was by someone else’s desk helping them when our receptionist apparently wrapped up the last piece of cake to take home. Apparently my boss overheard me earlie Read the rest of this entry »

ok so me and the guy who dumped the cart into the lake are working at the golf course and we decide to drive a cart out to #2 on the west course. so we are making our way and we get to #2 and i see this tree which isnt very big so i tell my buddy to try to ramp it. i dont really know what i was thinking because next thing i know is we are stuck on top of this tree. so im like ok that was bad idea. it wouldnt be that big of a deal but i look back to the first hole and i see the general manager a Read the rest of this entry »

During the first week on the job I get placed on client site. Time goes by and 2 months have passed. I get responsibility for printing from the 56″ plotter (yay)…using it mainly for charts and diagrams. Well at one point I put it as my default printer since I’m working on charts for about 4 weeks and I’m only using that plotter for printing anything. Well of course I forget to change this setting. I needed a 10-page document to read before I left for work one day so I quickly hit the prin Read the rest of this entry »

I just crop dusted past my own cube… God, I suck at this…

I went to Canton, Ohio to present to a company with a new sales rep for a RFP. We had to be roommies as there was only one room left in a decent hotel in the “city.” (The alternative was Red Roof Inn or Microtel. Uhmm, don’t think so.) None of the locals had any idea why the hotels were booked as it wasn’t Hall of Fame time. As the sales rep was new, she did not have the presentation ready so we worked on the preso until 1:30am and got it to the printers by 2am to have everything ready. Th Read the rest of this entry »

I accidently left my ham and cheese sandwich in the toaster oven today at work and i almost burned down the whole building. The smoke detector ended up going off and smoke was everywhere.

— The News Call Heard Round the World —
So I used to work for this major financial data provider and news conglomerate based out of New York. In the first department in which I worked, one of my responsibilities was running the 11:00am EST global news call which included all the major news executives from around the world both on video and audio feeds with each other. Lets just say after this one, luckily, I wasn’t on the audio feed, but unluckily, the CEO was sitting in on the call. < Read the rest of this entry »

So I’m on my way to work this morning when I pull up to a stop light. I have a horrible itch in my nether region so without thinking I start scratching away. About 5 seconds into it I look to my left and notice about 10 school kids looking down at me from their school bus.

They were horrified as they watched me go to town on my nuts. I feel like a horrible person.

I work at a book publishing company and when we sent off one of our manuscripts to be printed the final versions of the book came back with the page numbers in Fibonacci sequence order. So instead of the pages reading 1, 2, 3, 4, etc., they read 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, etc. How does that even happen?