Crazy coworker

1802/2015

I’ve worked at a company for 9 years this March. And it is absolutely no secret that my husband of 12 years and I had trouble with infertility for the past 8 years. Not that I was blabbing to everyone about my problem but over the 9 years occasionally a coworker would ask if and why I didn’t have children. The first few years I’d be hurt and play it off as if we weren’t ready. Then the last few years I’ve just been honest with ppl that we want kids but can’t have them.

Two years ago a coworker was hired into my Dept and as with all coworkers Before her I was friendly and helpful and eventually we became work place friends. There were a couple of things about her that irked me, like she was bossy and pushy and she had a never ending rotating crush on all the tall semi descent looking guys at work. To the point were she was developing a reputation for being slutty because she was all the time flirting. And even promised a married black man sex because she "wanted a mixed baby like her older sister had" still to this day she flirts and encourages him into thinking they will have sex.

Over time I just learned to ignore her antics. But I was very surprised to learn that she had gotten engaged and married to one of her high school friends and a woman (huge surprise that she was a "lesbian", not a big surprise that she was getting married because that was all she ever talked about, I knew she would marry anything that asked her first I just thought it would be a ugly jobless man)

A few months after her court room hasty marriage to this girl that she admits to cheating on with a guy she knew. She starts talking about how she needs to find a donor so she can get pregnant.

Now I admit this was the one and only time I became inwardly jealous. I spent almost a decade TTC. My husband has male infertility and it was a hard choice that we would either adopt or try an anonymous donor. We decided on the donor.

After YEARS of being a guarded private person and sticking to a personal philosophy that I should never get too personal or tell too much private matters to a coworker (mostly out of experience that you might be friends now and in the matter of a year something happens and that person tells others youre personal business) but I was stupid, and she was sharing and I thought fuck it I’ll share too. So I told her our problem and that we were going to do an at home insemination with mail ordered sperm from a international cryobank that my Dr worked with.

The first month everything was hunky dory, our order was approved and after three months of charting we had a donor picked out and a delivery date. On my coworker’s end, things weren’t so rosy. She had gone through about 5 potential donors who bailed on her at the last minute. Mostly burnouts with girlfriends who said yes in the spot and either had no intention of going through with it, or they were talked or if it by their girlfriends or family/friends.

I noticed something odd but brushed it off when she desperately asked if we had picked a donor and ordered the vials yet and when I said yes we had. that day at lunch desperate for a donor she looks into her contacts in her cell phone and calls her new best friend’s boyfriend and asked him if he knew anyone who would donate. And he offered right there on the spot… When she said "what about your girlfriend?" she said that he told her that "it’s none of her business what happens between me and you"

Ok… So I thought that was Really bad of her to hit up her new best friends boyfriend for sperm not to mention that at the time her best friend was 20 weeks pregnant with his Baby! And she had already tried to get sperm from a mutual friend who happened to be her "new best friends ex boyfriend And her 4 year old son’s dad" but that fell through when coworker and him had a doubt over Facebook (high-school drama much?) in other words coworker was trying to get sperm from all of her new BFF’s baby daddies.

Over the next two months coworker spent every night hanging out with her pregnant BFF and the boyfriend/donor.

At that time my vial arrived and hubby and I inseminated that day with only .5ml of cryo frozen sperm. We followed the directions and crossed our fingers but I wasnt sure if i was actually ovulating and I honestly didn’t hope for much because I didn’t think it would happen. Within two days I was nauseous with tender boobs and we joked that I might be pregnant but I was cramping really bad, and so I didn’t think I was pregnant. When my period was a week late I took a test and unlike all the many years before, this test was positive!

I was thrilled I told everyone (my family) that day via call and text (coworker said she wanted to know and I was in a happy telling mood so I texted her to) she was happy for me but I could tell she was jealous which I totally understood and didn’t fault her at all for her feelings.

But I didn’t expect the next day in at work that she would run up on me not to congratulate me in person but to tell me that they ran over to her BFF’s house and inseminated that day that she got my text that i was pregnant.

I thought she was weird for doing that, but I just shrugged and went on with my day. Anytime we talked it was always about HER the next few weeks she acted different and refused to acknowledge I was pregnant. After a pain that lead me to the ER, (I thought I had an eptopic pregnancy I discovered I had a cyst on my right side that was 5cm and I might need surgery if it got to 8cm but other wise the baby was fine. I spent two weeks out of work with doctors orders for bed rest.

Those two weeks she texted me every other day complaining of other coworkers and HER problems. Most of the time I ignored her texts.

When I came back to work she was upset because she got her period and wasnt pregnant. I was supportive of her but secretly relieved that I’d have at least a month of pregnancy with out her competing with me because at this point she had already pissed me off with comments like."I am going to get pregnant with no problems because I get all the sperm I want and you have to spend $400 on one vial"

So yeah secretly I was relieved. She started getting distant and more rude in her behavior her wounded pride made her put up a defense of acting conceited and like the world revolved around her. She started to get all ’single white female’ with her BFF. Dyed her hair the exact same color (dark brown almost black as her pregnant BFF.) and she began picking on and making fun of her other BFF from high school because that BFF announces an engagement to her boyfriend of a couple of years and coworker just couldn’t deal with someone else possibly being happy.

I listened to coworker, but started to keep my distance because I realized she wasn’t a nice person and honestly I didn’t need that horrible attitude in my life. At work I was getting so much love from other coworkers. 6 people gave me warm happy hugs, so many others congratulated me. So many coworkers were genuinely happy for me and although I didn’t really seek the attention, when I got it I was happy and thankful for it.

Two months later coworker finds out that she is pregnant. She bombards me in the morning to tell me the good news and I’m initially happy for her but also had really bad morning sickness and I didn’t stick around for too long. A day later she asks me when she should announce at work that she is pregnant. I tell her that is up to her. (I didn’t announce at work until I was about 8 weeks along after my first ultrasound.) she is only like 4 weeks pregnant.

So the next day she comes in wearing a shirt that says "bun in the oven" which apparently is the exact same shirt that her 30 weeks pregnant BFF/sister wife has. but aside from a couple of people, I don’t think that she got the response and showers of ‘congrats’ that she was hoping for. Not like all the love I got, but then again I’d been there for 9 years and she had only just been there for two years and spent half of that time whoring around with the guys, and making enemies with a girl in another Dept.

As if her crazy relationship with her BFF and sperm donor wasn’t weird enough already she is telling me stories that her and sperm donor are flirting (he walks around in his underwear in front of her she jokes and tells him to put on clothes and he flirts back and says I am inside you right now its ok if you see me in my underwear) she buys him things, they go out to dinner together, and now she told me that he bought her a valentine’s day gift (a spa day and something else)

Oh and apparently her pregnant friend is having dreams that he is cheating on her with her sister (or a sisterly person)

So now she is all sad and cranky that she isn’t getting doted on at work. I guess she thought she would be treated like a queen. Mean while I’m heading into my second trimester and I’m asked daily how I feel and how baby is doing. I have begun to drift away from her because she really is acting like a home wreaker and is catty towards anyone who is happy. I still have a long way to go before baby is born so I’m trying to stay positive, ranting my story helps get it off my chest! I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this with. So, thank you for listening!

posted under Crazy Coworkers
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