We have a gym at work and I used to workout everyday as soon as my shift ended. As of August however, I’ve been going to the gym at my office before starting my shift. As a tradeoff I’m forced to shower at the gym after I workout and then head straight to work. This isn’t really a big deal. I can handle naked old people walking around minding their own business.

Today was a little different though. Call it bad timing or fate, but it just so happened that the guy who was using the lock Read the rest of this entry »

The guy I share an office with just asked to borrow my headphones and then proceded to play music so loud that I could hear it more clearly than when he normally just plays it through his speakers. I’m sure his ears will start bleeding any moment now.

Just last week I went to my fairly hot coworker’s office because she was helping me with this problem I had. My inner-ear was itching a lot the whole day so every couple minutes I would tug at my ear lobe in hopes to alieviate the itching. So I sit down at her desk and borrow a pen from her because I left mine down the hall. While she was explaining something to me, I was sitting there with her pen cap in my ear using it as a Q-Tip. I had no idea I was even using her pen cap that way until a Read the rest of this entry »

Click, clack the keyboard
sounds. Squeak, squeak, squeak the chair creaks.
Offices sounds surround.

I accidentally spilled water on my officemates laptop and now his computer won’t work. He’s super pissed and he tried to get me in trouble with our boss. What a dick.

One of the guys I work with smells bad- He has really bad body odor. He has dandruff, greasy hair and totally needs to brush his teeth once in awhile. There is dandruff all over the back of his shirts, and all over the back of his black leather desk chair. I almost put my hands into it one day. Nice. He always has to come over to my desk to work on the computer, and that means he has to lean over to the stupid thing.Obviously, I have started backing farther and farther away, to avoid the mondo s Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve jacked off in the work restroom so often that I get a chubby just from the smell of shit.

This is awkward cuz I fart a lot and wear tight pants.

I just farted at my desk. I had headphones on so I have no idea how loud it was. I am pretty sure someone heard it. There are people all around.

Have you ever had one of those days where the work is pilling up around you, but you can’t seem to actually get motivated enough to do any of it?

Yeah, today is a day like that for me. I have 6 projects due in a matter of days, and all I can concentrate on is Yahoo! Pool.

A guy I work with likes to violently thrust his pointer finger at my flat-panel monitor to show me stuff making discolored swirls where his finger hits the LCD. I can see the picture on the web page even when your finger is a foot away, you know.