Day at the Park


I worked at an amusement park one summer performing in a show. This was by far the worst job I ever had.

We played on trash cans. We were sponsored by Waste Management.

Once again, we played “drums” on trash cans, and were sponsored by a garbage company.

Unfortunately, after beating the ever-living shit out of the lids 6 times a day, they would quickly become destroyed, and eventually very dangerous with sharp edges everywhere.
For some reason management could never get enough lids, and it was a huge point of contention the whole summer. I’m not sure how hard it is to find metal trash can lids, but it can’t be any harder than walking to the hardware store and handing them money.

We wore headsets with boom mics on them, and would constantly forget to turn them off, resulting in numerous occasions where we were cursing loudly backstage only to come out to a wide-eyed, very offended audience awaiting our show.
This did not please the management.

We would ride the rides on our breaks, once again, not causing pleasure for our bosses.

We would smoke in front of patrons, cut shows short, and generally be huge pompous assholes.
Again, pleasure averted.

Our “break room” was a 10×15 plywood shack with a non-functional air conditioner, no insulation, and visible gaps in the walls. It averaged 100 degrees inside, and 95 outside in the shade.

For some reason, there was a sewer grate at the front of the stage. Several times, fish from a nearby lake would get rained in and then trapped, left to rot in the baking summer heat.
I nearly vomited into my trash can numerous times.

I nearly got evicted from my apartment the first week because someone left a beer can in the bushes outside our place. Not me. Just one can.

They fired my roomate for blowing a candy whistle, that management gave him, during a parade.
It was “employee appreciation day.”

Eventually, I got into a fist fight with my co-worker, walked out mid-day, and started packing.
When they called the next day, they thought I would be surprised to know I had been fired.

I drove up with my car fully packed and the keys to my apartment in hand.

Those bastards took my last two weeks pay, almost $1000 for quitting in the manner I did. They can suck my balls.

I will never visit that park again.

posted under Rants
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